I wud really appreciate it if u wud sit down and write things that u like and dont like about me. Please remember that certain traits that we cant understand about the other person- I mean the ones we cant relate to seem endearing and if ur not they will be irritating -is the difference between love and affection. We love also because of such traits.... we dont love in spite of them!!!!!When u love somebody in spite of "anything that u see as a failing", that isnt love... Not according to me. Its something else...a glorifying act that we are in cos we want to feel good about ourselves. This also the difference between being in a relationship "in spite of" and compromising. A compromise is complete. We compromise cos we love.....I will not be upset anymore if u dont pamper or praise... I will teach myself... in fact am teaching myself. I have to be who I am and I know that I cant hold myself back. Expression is me!!!! One day... I will be a burnt out woman and that day I will pack my bags and go on a world tour by myself. THAT is a promise and I will keep it. I know somewhere in u, u also think that i am arrogant and will be spoilt by u if u indulge me like that. U have never understood me that way and probably never seen beyond all the attitude. I know myself and I am not going to say anything more cos ur gonna sneer and say 'yeah right'!!!! Dont worry. I know what I am worth.... But it wud have meant a lot if u had atleast once shown me or told that I am special to u.
The relationship that I have envisaged... the 'perfect one' that is.... always had me in the loving angle and the guy in the ' i-cant-live-without-my-girl-she-taught-me-love-she-makes-my-life-heaven-i-cherish-every-moment-there-will-be-no-woman-like-her ever-I- am indeed-blessed-to have been -with her( cos the perfect relationship is gonna end in marriage ) angle... That is what I mean by special.... But I now guess its very need oriented. And so is just a lotta baloney that happens in books and autobiographies.... I mean u can always lie about it. Who's gonna know. It will make u feel good and give the other person 'hope' cos to have such a thing is truly magical. We have forgotten magic... the beauty of it... and we have stopped believing in it.
What are we going to do?
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