i see myself sitting there. its eerie. i look like i am really concentrating on something hard. thats funny. i am also smiling. those guys sitting across me must think me mad. but so what. what is madness anyway. it is certainly not smiling. i am moving around. not bad. there is some control over my body. its heady and i feel light headed. i feel a bit nauseated cos i cant feel my stomach. the wind is whizzing through my lungs. i slowly reach out. i see that i can move even if the movements look like i am drowning under water. underwater. maybe i should try some form of swimming. the air around is weightless but could be liquid. i swish my way around. i move out of the office.
funny. i am still scared to fly over a place which does not have a floor. i guess i could fall and die. or atleast break a few bones. fear is so powerful that it even manifests in your manifestations. i cant seem to come down. to hold onto anything solid. so i keep floating on. into the lift and quietly out. i move out of the building. into the fresh air and sunshine. its brilliant. there are colors. swimming in my eyes. i move to a tree and hold on. this is toxic tho. i cant breathe cos of the fumes. i have to move higher up. so i let go. and move upwards. thats better. the wind is in my hair and oh, it is a tad stronger than it was before. i am trying to see below but i am scared. cos i cant control myself anymore. i being thrown around. oh how i wish that i had not left the safety of my body. but here i am. tossed and turned and flung around. oh no. i am freefalling. but not downwards. sidewards. i am moving at an alarming speed. i am narrowly missing clouds of dust, trees, posts and god knows what else. i am going to crash. and suddenly i am not afraid. i see that this may be a good thing. maybe i will crash and wake up. return to my home. maybe. for now, i am still out there trying to find some balance so that i can hurtle to the crash comfortably.
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