BFF

Possibly because it's Friday, my thoughts are bursting out of my head. The person this is meant for will know that this is meant for her.

Darling, I have always tried to be your 'best friend' and more. I also know today that I have somehow failed you. If I have failed to make you understand how much I love you and how I really am not judging you, and how I am just trying to help out in my own clumsy and stupid way, then the failure is mine. I remember reading somewhere that if Love is a feeling as perceived by the one loved and not the one who loves, then let the one who is loved be a judge of the love. Let the one who is loved be the judge about the (in)adequacy, the nature, the depth (or lack of it) and the wisdom (or foolishness) of such love. So be it.

For reasons known to you and me, I have known that I have failed to pass on to you the depth and nature of the affection which truly burns within me, for you. But please do know my dear, that this affection can be a blanket whenever you fall, whenever you stumble or whenever you just want to take a snooze from life. If you see this affection as a blanket that smothers you, then again the failure is mine and mine alone. Again, I have read somewhere that affection which cannot be showered, dies like a summer rain. That's not true. My love is true and my love is real. It shall be as powerful today as it was yesterday or will be tomorrow. And for teh record, its not a summer shower, it is the damn monsoon, all year round :)

I shall always wait for you to 'come back' to me. Do not mistake what I have written here as a "I am whining so please listen to me and feel sorry for me and bad about yourself" device. It is not. It is merely a stupid recording of one- millionth of what I feel for you and would never be able to put into words Take your time Darling. All I ask is that you do not judge me too harshly. And that you do hasten the process (which you will inevitably go through) and realize that I really do want the very best for you and a happy-you makes a happy-me :)

No apologies for what I have said or done, that which was perceived by you as worthy of nothing less than distance. That is just who I am. But I can promise to try harder when it comes to you. Or maybe not try hard at all, which maybe what you want, after all. Right now, I am confused... but I promise to try :) Where oh where lies the answers to difficult relationships? Are relationships difficult, or do we make them difficult? I, for one, have no clue.. maybe you will find the answer and let me know. Till then, good luck with everything... my love is always with you girl!